Today I went to the world’s strangest carnival. It was held on the pier at Rosebud, down on the Mornington Peninsula. I’m not really sure what their niche was with this carnival, because it sort of had something for everyone. And not in a good way. There were attractions that appealed to lovers of fantasy television shows, marine biologists, astronauts and anything else you can imagine. When I first saw it, I thought I’d gone to a career’s expo instead.
When there’s something for everyone, there tends to only be one thing that appeals to you. For me, it was the bow rail. Now that is a cool idea for a carnival activity. It was basically a roller coaster rail that went above the whole carnival. On the ride, you were given a bow and a bunch of arrows. While the roller coaster went, you could shoot as many targets as possible, giving you points for prizes. Archery roller coaster! What will they think of next?
Now that was all well and good, but after I’d done the one attraction that appealed to me, what was I supposed to do with the rest of my day? Go into the Best Marine Welding Near Melbourne competition? Study plants with the botanists? Compete in the zombie marathon? None of that sounds like fun to me.
One of the stranger activities I saw was called Advanced Pumpkin Eating. Ten people went onto a stage and tried to eat pumpkins which were being thrown at them. It was ludicrous. The contestants held wooden stakes, which they had to impale the pumpkins on. Then they had to eat said pumpkins before the next one was thrown at them. The winner managed to get through fifteen pumpkins, and won a gold trophy shaped like a half-eaten pumpkin. He was so stuffed, though, that they had to roll him off the stage. Hopefully he’ll be alright! Moral of the story, kids, is don’t eat fifteen pumpkins in quick succession.