Waiting for Cool


I can’t work in this blazing summer heat! It’s simply unbearable, sitting in my leather chair behind my desk, watching as the blinding rays of light come in through my window. My study feels like it’s on fire. Yes, this room has air con. Melbourne heat doesn’t seem to care that it’s broken. It won’t get fixed for a few days, and by then this heatwave will probably be over.

How am I supposed to work on my fantasy masterpiece in these conditions? How am I supposed to tell the epic saga of Figgle McWiggle? Although I haven’t been published yet, I’m already working on the fifth instalment. Once one of the fifty-three agents I’ve sent the four and a half manuscripts to sees its full potential, I’ll be offered a deal in no time. That’s why I can’t get aircon repairs. In Melbourne, I can take government benefits, but I won’t get paid until Friday.

People tell me I’m being a burden on society by dedicating my life to writing a fantasy series, but I see it as a loan from the government. Think of how much I’ll help the economy when I become a bestseller in a week! Really, I deserve a grant for my work, but the people who run the country wouldn’t know greatness if it wrote them a letter begging for twenty-thousand dollars.

Anyway, Figgle McWiggle is in a bit of a pickle, and I need to help him out by writing the next chapter. The demon lord Garthablog the Twenty-Seventh has just taken over the capital, High-Rule City, and he’s kidnapped Figgle’s girlfriend. Garthablog’s only weakness is advanced cooling, which is why Figgle is travelling to the Cold Lands, in a quest for the world’s largest block of ice. That’s where the title comes from. The Figgle McWiggle Chronicles: Figgle McWiggle and the World’s Largest Block of Ice. Pretty clever, right?

I just wish that I could get back to it, but I’ll have to wait. It’s simply too hot to be working right now. Sorry Figgle McWiggle, but Mary Susie will have to wait a few more days to be saved.

-Augustus Bland