The Russian Queen

I can officially confirm that Natalia is the actual worst.

No doubt any day now, the mayor of Worstville is going to arrive at the school, shake Natalia’s hand and give her the key to the city, because that’s how much of the worst she is. Absolutely the worst. And once that happens, everyone in the school will know it.

For now, she has everyone fooled with her fake thick Russian accent, pretending that her parents are multi-millionaires who came here to take advantage of the booming industry in Melbourne. Office window tinting is that much of a big deal, is it, Natalia? So much so that your parents moved permanently from the city of ‘Perm’ (yeah, that’s a real place) so they could invest in office window tinting, frosted window glass and some such. And being the heiress to a company makes her important, sure. Sorry that we’re not all going to kowtow to you, your royal highness, but I have some doubts about your story.

For one thing, your supposed home city is the name of a hairstyle. For another, you do not get helicoptered into school every single day, which would happen if your parents were really rich. Your accent is WAY too thick to really be Russian; you sound like you’re about to announce that you’re out to catch moose and squirrel. And I’m not totally convinced that they even have tinted windows in Russia. It’s all snowy and dark all the time, so they wouldn’t need them, and thus you would not know about them… HA. Your case has been destroyed. Now come clean, Natalia! Your parents are really just tinted window enthusiasts who gave you a Russian name! 

I get it, because office tinting is really quite a pretty effect. When you get into frosted window glass, even prettier. 

But even the prettiest things are spoiled by lies.