I feel like this winter has lasted longer than the other ones in my life. It’s not too surprising, considering time is just an illusion that is constantly warping around us, never truly running at the same pace. Oh, you didn’t know that? Well, I would like to welcome you to the truth. Congratulations on having your eyes opened. If the thought of supreme knowledge frightens you, turn away now, because I will blow your mind to the prehistoric times and back.
It was a cold day in the winter of 2005. I had just had a service completed for my central heating. Melbourne was a strange place to be in at the time. After my heating unit was fixed up, I turned to my clock to check the time. Only fifteen minutes had passed since the technician arrived at my house, yet he’d completed his hour-long service already. I immediately got suspicious, but not for the reasons most people would. The technician hadn’t tricked me. My clock hadn’t stopped working. No, this was something different. It was a time paradox. Let me ask you a question. If I get a heater service close to Melbourne at 11:45 am, but the technician leaves at 10:45 am, what has occurred? No, it’s not daylight savings. That, my friends, is a time paradox.
How do time paradoxes work? Well, a time paradox occurs when two people are diverging into slightly different timelines, but still in their original timeline. The heating repair technician must have been on a timeline set forty-five minutes ahead of mine, which is why he was able to get the job done in only fifteen minutes, while it seemed like an hour for me. My clock was caught in the middle of the paradox, resulting in time confusion. I know nobody is going to believe me, but you just wait until you experience your own time paradox. Then you’ll think about this blog post and realise I was right the whole time. Just you wait!