Saunas and Servicing

My thoughts on cars have been on a roller-coaster throughout my entire life. Back when I was a teenager and (ironically) trying to be a rebel who stands out from the crowd, and doesn’t owe anything to the man, man, I really wanted to get a car. I’d use it to get away from my square parents and go to a quarry and smoke cigarettes like a cool rebel chick, all the while wearing torn jeans and listening to a boombox.

My more sensible university self went right off the idea of cars after I hit an extremely large koala on the way to work (it was in the tree at the time, because I really veered hard off that wet road). 

And now? I’m all like “whoop, yeah, those mechanics open in Moorabbin are the BEST, yo!” 

It’s so nice to be a spineless shill, especially when there’s a major conflict happening. What most people don’t realise is that it’s way less stressful to pander to both sides.

You see, the south east of Melbourne is currently experiencing a bit of a mechanic clash as a rich European billionaire opened up a bunch of garages that offer…a different service. It’s not necessarily better; just super different and European, which has caused many to jump on the trend. I jumped on it, of course, because I saw a billboard with a bunch of blonde, square-jawed and extremely serious-looking mechanics posing with wrenches and the like, with the tagline ‘Euro Mechanics: Is better, because is European. Free sauna and disco with every car servicing, ya?’

I believed them, obviously, because it was on a sign. But then signs started popping up saying things like ‘Car servicing, done the Aussie way. Why choose anything else?”

And I thought…yeah. Why choose anything else indeed. Now it’s a passive-aggressive business tussle between the Moorabbin car service people and the tall, blonde, amazing good-looking mechanics in the new Euro garages, where they all glare at you and only accept weird credit cards. But it is a nice sauna.